summer has come

Looking up through my window, I am startled by the beauty of the blue sky. Startled as in I forgot it was even there. Enraptured by the grace of palm frawns billowing in the hot breeze of summer... this past year, when I would look through my window, I couldn't remember why I used to love looking out my window, until now.

Has it really been so long here since it was last summer?

Even the school hallways are warm with the hot air being rushed in by students already burning with anticipation. Summer has already begun. I hate that the year is ending because that means that my time is up, and that the countdown to graduation has begun. I don't want to go home yet, and I don't want to think about coming back and everything being different.

A leaf is tugged along the sidewalk by the wind, until a maverick gust thrusts it momentarily upward, many stories into the sky. There it pauses, then slowly descends, twisting and catching on the air currents, being pushed by gravity but stubbornly keeping afloat.

I've been having this emotion like heartache, which I forgot what that felt like. My chest hurts, and it makes everything seem sweeter. Its happiness or maybe loneliness, or maybe fear. It could be anything. But its paralyzing and kind of scary. And that's the feeling I got when I looked into the sky, which was bluer than it has been for months. Maybe the sky is also happy, or frantic, which made it blush and glow.

What a stupid feeling. Its not productive at all.